


Addicted to You

by captainamergirl



Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, My tribute to, SnB A to Z, Sonny and Brenda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:37:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: They can never truly let go.





	1. Addicting

**Addicting**   
  
Everything about her, he craves, he desires, he wants and needs. He's prided himself in the past on never having needed anyone or anything. She's his sweetest addiction, his most potent drug, his most anticipated high and might ultimately be his biggest downfall too. Yet she is the first person to ever really make him feel like he could just let go and she would be there right beside him holding his hand when he finally came up for air.    
  
_He could drown in her._   
  
They have known each other just mere months and she's already burned so deep into his veins that his very blood hums her name. She's under his skin and he wouldn't have it any other way.    
  
And should he overdose on whatever this feeling is that is burbling up between them, then he knows without a doubt that he wants to go with his hands entangled in her thick hair, his body seared by her warm skin and the taste of her full lips a whispery memory on his ... 


	2. Brenda

**B - Brenda**   
  
Brenda is her name. The name of the ghost that lives between them . That name, the image, the ideal, that has been there haunting them for so long that she's almost used to it.  _Almost_ . Her name is Carly and none of the images that come with her name bring warmth to peoples' hearts. Not the way the name Brenda does. The name Brenda is synonymous with life, laughter, fierce and meaningful love, depth, intrigue, beauty and strength.    
  
Brenda is the name engraved on his heart and Carly knows it. She wants to have pride and walk out but she can't even knowing she will never be Brenda. That she could never possess his heart and soul the way Brenda has.    
  
So when she sees Brenda come out of that church in the rain, thick, dark curls matted against her bronze skin, a big smile on her face at seeing him for the first time in years, Carly knows. Carly knows she's no ghost because Brenda has been real to him all along.    
  
She knows what he's thinking too:  _There will never be another Brenda Barrett._


	3. Charming

**C - Charming**   
  
She's sitting on the docks dangling her tiny feet in the cool river water. It seems to be the only relief from the sweltering heat this summer, the hottest summer on record in years. The local power company is warning of rolling blackouts and she's sitting here watching the world go by when she hears him approach. She doesn't have to turn around, simply says, "Hey, Sonny."   
  
"How did you know it was me?" He asks.   
  
"Sixth sense," she says with a smile tapping her forehead. "Oh and that cologne ... you've been wearing the same kind since we first met."   
  
His smile dimples. "What are you doing out here all by yourself in the dark?"   
  
She shrugs nonchalantly though she is hyper aware of him being so close. "Trying to beat the heat."   
  
"I know a way we can 'beat the heat'," he says with a little wicked grin on his still too heartbreakingly handsome face.   
  
"Oh charming, Sonny, charming. Don't you have a teenage girlfriend who is cowering in the dark right about now?"   
  
"Low blow, Brenda."   
  
"What are you doing with Emily, Sonny? She's young enough to be your daughter."   
  
"Well if it makes you feel any better, we broke up tonight."   
  
Brenda just nods and doesn't say anything. They look at each other for the longest time, not breaking eye contact. The hot breeze hisses and swirls around them and ruffles her blouse. She is barely aware of it because all she can see is him and all he can see is the sheen in her big brown eyes.    
  
"Why could we never make it work, Bren?" He suddenly asks.   
  
"I don't know," she says. "I don't know. But I wish ..."   
  
"What do you wish?" He asks, bending down to her level and reaching for her hand.    
  
His suddenly notices that familiar sparkle of mischief in her eyes but before he can move away, she has given him a solid shove right into the water. He comes up two seconds later sputtering salt water. "Charming, Brenda, charming ..." He says as he watches her triumphant face.    
  
She cheers. "I think I was the first woman to ever catch Sonny off guard," she grins.   
  
He sobers a bit. "You were the first woman to ever catch me, period ..." 


	4. Dimples

**Dimples**   
  
“Go with me to Nikolas’s black and silver ball,” he says, almost commandingly, as they sit watching the stars together on the docks. His hand is just mere centimeters from hers, so near that she could reach out and interweave their fingers together if she dared.    
  
Instead, she just smirks. “It’s the black and  _white_ ball, not silver, and what about Kate? How would she feel about that?” Brenda’s smirk belies her true feelings. In all honesty, she hurts every time she thinks of the other woman in his life. She had come back from a long stay in Milan only to find out Sonny had reunited with his “first love” - a bitchy, uppity, cold but ultimately beautiful and put together woman with fabulous hair. It still cut deeply into the quiet, secret part of Brenda’s soul - the knowledge that she had believed Sonny every time he told her that she was his first love, that she was the one who saved him from himself, and apparently that was a lie all along. Just a lie and a deception, like every other one.   
  
Still, they have managed to maintain some semblance of a friendship. She hadn’t expected that, neither had he. Things had never been simple between them as they had fought as fiercely as they loved and hated as equally as they desired one another … Friendship was a new thing to both of them, awkward but almost comfortable as well. Some of their expectations could die away in this newly conceived arrangement and they could just “be”.    
  
“We’re on … let’s call it a break,” he says.   
  
This time she smiles a bit wider. “I wish I could but I’m going with someone else.”   
  
She sees him swallow deeply, his little Adam’s apple bobbing as he takes in the news. He couldn’t have expected her to wait around for him forever, now could he?    
  
“Please don’t tell you’re going with Candyboy.”   
  
“It's not Jax,” she said. “Its Jason.”   
  
“Jason? Jason Morgan? You’re kidding.”   
  
“Nope. He even promised to dance one whole dance with me.”   
  
Sonny nods, smiling a little, trying so hard not to begrudge her her happiness.    
  
He’s surprised when she suddenly reaches out and lightly caresses the curve of his dimples, the warm pads of her fingertips heating his skin as they trail slowly down his jaw line.    
  
“Don’t be jealous.”   
  
“I’m not,” he says and pulls her hand away, pressing a little kiss into the soft palm of her tiny hand. Tears wet her eyes at the gesture.    
  
She pulls her hand away like he burned her even as she wants more. Is it possible to feel the loss of his touch as a person would the loss of their limb? Because she feels it. She definitely feels that loss and knows she always will.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED.


	5. Endearing

** E - Endearing **   
  
His wanting to protect her is one of the most endearing qualities about him. He wants to protect her from the world, insulate her from harm, but even he can't protect her from the intense feelings rising up inside of her when's he in the room. He is supposed to be teaching her how to cook his pasta - or his "world famous pasta tetrazzini" as he often puts it smugly - but she is making a mess of his kitchen.   
  
"You're horrible in the kitchen," he says.   
  
She smirks. "And oh so good in other rooms of the house ..."   
  
He leans over to kiss her but the ringing in his pocket stops him from doing so. "Don't get it," she says, feeling like she has been waiting for that kiss for centuries.   
  
He smiles a little. He hasn't done much smiling lately and she's happy to see it.    
  
"Just a sec," he says, brushing her lips with his forefinger. He then puts his cell phone to his ear and listens to the other person talk. She watches his face. She knows whatever he's being told is bad news.    
  
He swallows hard and then says, "Come over and get Brenda," before hanging up.   
  
She jumps to him. "What was that about? Who was that? What are you trying to pull?" she sputters.   
  
"It was Jason. You'll be safer with him."   
  
Of course she would. Because she doesn't love Jason and he doesn't love her. They don't have the power to devastate or bring each other to their knees the way Brenda and Sonny do and have in the past.   
  
But she simply says, "Why? Why am I safer with him?"   
  
"Another woman was found strangled tonight. The damn text message killer again."   
  
"And what does that have to do with me?" she demands.    
  
"The woman was Alexis Davis." His eyes moisten. "She's the mother of my child and I could never protect her - I never even tried. You know Emily was murdered too ..."   
  
Brenda's eyes moisten just looking into his. She hates the pain she sees there. "Okay, I get it. You're upset but why push me away?"   
  
"Because, Brenda, don't you see - it could have been you! It still could be you and I won't live with that. I can't live with that."   
  
"Sonny, I am not scared!" she calls after him as he walks into the kitchen and forcefully dumps the steaming bowl of pasta into the sink.    
  
He looks at her and she sees now what he's thinking and feeling without him having to say it. He's scared for her. And he's scared for himself too because he knows he can't live without her again, and he'd rather she be away from him and stay alive than be in his arms and die.


	6. Fiery

** F - Fiery **   
  
Sonny was sitting in the dark room for what seemed like the millionth time in the last month. Ever since he had forced Brenda out of his house and out of his life, the very light had gone out of his world in every way, and not just literally. He knew he was protecting her by pushing her away but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. The emptiness in his life was killing him. If it weren't for his sons, he would have embraced complete insanity the way his mind urged him to do.    
  
He sipped his brandy and slowly waited for sleep to overcome him. It was the only escape from his meaningless life but images of her still intruded in his mind even then. They had become close again and he had ruined everything but he was sticking to his vow to keep her safe at all costs.    
  
The phone rang and he ignored it as he had so many times in the past month. Then he heard the message on the answering machine and his whole world dropped out from under him once more.    
  
It was Jason. "Sonny ... Brenda was attacked tonight on the pier ... She's in the hospital ... In pretty bad shape ..."    
  
Sonny couldn't comprehend the rest. He quickly threw his glass of brandy aside and ran for the door. He brushed past Max, completely ignored his bodyguard calling after him. He jumped into one of his many cars and started the engine with the set of keys in his pocket. He always kept them close by. Maybe because he had expected that eventually he would have to make a mad dash for the hospital like this.    
  
His Brenda was hurt. In pretty bad shape, Jason had said.   
  
He drove like a bat out of hell through the streets, mentally counseling himself. This was Brenda, his Brenda. She was strong, fiery, brave, fierce ... Nothing was going to bring her down. Not even this text message bastard. He just had to keep telling himself that.   
  
He reached GH in record time and left his car idling at the curb in front of the emergency room. He dashed inside and waved to Robin. "Where is she?" He asked hoarsely.   
  
"Through there, but she's on her way into surgery. You can't -"   
  
Sonny didn't hear the rest as he raced inside the little cubicle and saw His Brenda laying there, all banged up and bruised. He immediately moved over to her and reached for her hand, fearing he would hurt her if he moved any closer.    
  
Brenda looked up at him with a glassy sheen in her eyes but she looked determined and brave as she always had. "Sonny ... what took you so long?" she asked.


	7. Gorgeous

** G - Gorgeous **   
  
Jason was standing in the doorway, watching Brenda while Sonny went downstairs to get her some of the cheesy nachos she had been craving. It made her laugh to herself to think of Sonny as her errand boy.   
  
"Why are you just standing there, Jason?"   
  
"Sonny asked me to stay with you until he came back."   
  
Brenda sighed. "Ugh. I'm not a child who needs to be babysat constantly." She shrugged. "Anyway how do you like my new look?" she asked, lightly touching her bandaged forehead.   
  
"It's the latest accessory," Jason said, trying to hide a smile.   
  
"Okay you just made a joke," Brenda said. "Is this the Twilight Zone?"   
  
He shrugged and didn't say anything, still smiling a bit.   
  
"Seriously with all these bruises on my face I look -"   
  
"Still gorgeous as ever," Sonny said, walking into the room.   
  
Brenda's whole face lit up. "You're lying but I adore you for it." Brenda watched him move over to stand beside her as she held out a Styrofoam box. "Oooh, you got me my nachos?"   
  
"Yep," he said with a little smile and kissed her hand lightly, gently, so as not to put pressure on her wounds.   
  
Jason coughed. "I am going to go now."   
  
Neither of them responded and neither of them broke eye contact from the other.    
  
Brenda spoke first.   
  
"I can't believe you're still here."   
  
"Where else would I be?"    
  
"Hiding from me," Brenda said.    
  
"Well no more of that. I realized something tonight."   
  
"What?"   
  
"That I want you with me always."   
  
"You just figured that out?" she asked with a little smile.   
  
"No, actually, I just realized I am not going to let you get away this time. You need me and I need you. Always. Forever."


End file.
